Well in my last post I said that I would write my next post on Monday but I had forgotten that as a mom one must often not make promises! As luck would have it, Brisbane went into lockdown.. hard lockdown and my little one caught a bug and so the last 4 days have been a looonggg sleep deprived blur… But in a way it gives me the perfect conditions to talk about what I was wanting to for this blog post.. IDENTITY… BELONGING.. GRIT.. LETTING GO
In Sense and Sensibility, Marianne asks Sir John what Mr Willoughby is like? What are his pursuits, his passions and his interests? Questions that baffle Sir John not because he has not the faintest clue but he just cannot fathom how abstract qualities such as the above can define a suitor? Although I am not talking about a suitor here, but how often do we identify ourselves with our passions, pursuits and interests? By default most of the times we talk about the roles we play in our lives as our identity… our roles as a parent, a family member, at the workplace, in society.. as a mom now my identity is solely driven by my motherhood and all encompasse… but my pre-motherhood self for myself was identified by my dreams, my ambitions, my wins and loses, my passions as well as my roles… It is all these abstractions that brings a person to life and gives them reason and motivation to endure.. as moms we often have no time or energy to think about or live those abstractions and all I would say even in the smallest of measures they need to come back and they need to stay.. if we have to belong in our role and we have to show grit.. those abstractions need to come back.. so here I am bringing back one of those abstractions…
I cannot forget Frances’s line in Bridges of Madison County where she says “…with you returned my life of details…”. Possibly an easy to miss dialogue but spoke so much to me… a mom’s life, a wife’s life is one of details… what’s for dinner? where are the trousers? Is the laundry in? Are the bills paid? When do we go and get veggies? When can I watch some TV? Where are my favorite snacks? It often feels that the 24 hours in the day is broken down to a series of these details leaving little or no space for anything else… As a migrant mom the details are much more because we lack the community/the village to share these details and often the cup runnenths over… So sometimes I let go of the details… because sometimes its ok to not know all the answers and to not have everything under control… its ok to not be ok and its also ok to be simply ok…
So is your life one of details or do you still have your passions, pursuits and interest guiding you? What do you do to bring back the abstractions into your life? What have you done to keep the abstractions in your life? What would you say is your identity.. your role or your abstractions? How much grit is ok and when is it ok to be just ok an when is it ok to not be ok? Well you have a week to tell me…
Till next week..
purnimanandy 