The waiting room

A conversation on dreams, expectations and mid-life crisis led to a thought..a thought that triggered so many questions and also a consideration on the way life is looked at in general..

Let me explain by travelling back in time…

When I was growing up, life was governed and directed by a lot of rules, milestones, goals and achievements.. school, exams, timetables, curfew, home rules, peer pressure, conformity and then it progressed to bigger things like university, career, jobs, savings, relationships, anniversaries, marriage and then? and then there was this plateau that just doesn’t seem to end.. Welcome to real life they call it! Here the governing bodies are different.. bills, rent, some more bills and rent and a job that we go to everyday and a house that has to be cleaned every week and slowly monotony sets in… and with this monotony comes the dire need to escape it…

The more the need to escape it.. the more are the day dreams and the plans and the bucket lists that we make.. we start to plan holidays, we write down lists of skills we want to learn, we take up hobbies that after a point we can’t continue.. we start reading quotes and self-help books to relate to the turmoil inside.. we make huge saving plans.. we start writing new goals, we find milestones for ourselves.. basically we try to get back to the lives we knew and get rid of the monotony.. we fight the fight or flight mode.. look for new jobs.. hell even throw up our jobs to start a venture or give it all up for a whole new course.. and in the process some of us find salvation while others just exhaust ourselves more…Those who find salvation and a calling go out there telling the whole world that this turmoil is worthwhile and it leads to something and the rest of us believe it and we wait.. we wait for the salvation that may or may not come.. we get into what is called the “waiting room”.

The waiting room is the thought that dawned on me and it has set me free! I am in a waiting room.. waiting for the train to salvation and im sure that there are so many of us out there who are waiting for their respective trains.. now the problem with the waiting room is that the longer the more is expected and desired from that train that needs to come.. I started to wonder… what if a train did come to take me out there but I let it go to wait for something better because the longer the wait the bigger the expectation… What if I actually got onto a train once and then saw where it took me and maybe it would have taken me to the next station enroute destination salvation.. but I didn’t because I liked the waiting in the waiting room?

It is a scary thought but the more I thought about it the louder the thought seemed to get.. In her memoir Elizabeth Gilbert talks about a man who prayed to God everyday saying please god, please let me win the lottery and God one day tells him.. please son please please buy a ticket! Maybe we all need to just buy that ticket get on to the train and see where it takes us.. we all need to just get out of the waiting room and onwards with our journey… sometimes its not necessary to know the destination or the journey, sometimes all it takes is to just take the next best step and keep taking the steps…

 

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