Be kind to yourself

Today I read about being kind to oneself.. It is such an important skill to develop and practice.. I think we should learn to practice this everyday.. yes every single day! More than practicing to be perfect, to be  successful to pursue our goals and to be an adult, we should learn and practice to be kind to ourselves.

Why is it so important you may ask me? Its true that the value of something is realised when its missing or its never been there.. I realised the importance of being kind to myself on a day when I was very unkind to myself.. and surprisingly when I looked back I realised that the number of times in a week that I was unkind to myself was much more than the other way round..

I wake up every morning to get ready and go to work.. and form that very moment onwards I start being unkind to myself.. every time I call myself lazy for sleeping in a little after the alarm goes off, every time I brush my hair and complain about how messy it looks today and how it can be so much smoother and shinier than it is… every time I put on an outfit and ignore how well I look in it but I see only the ugly bulges and scold myself for not having gone to the gym yet again.. every time I look into the mirror to put on my makeup and not see my smile and eyes but my puffy skin.. every time I reprimand myself for buying that cup of coffee and not having the coffee although it tastes so very bad at work and every time during the day when I doubt my ability and my strengths for not being at my dream job. Every time I sit down to lunch and I don’t compliment my own cooking.. every time leave the workplace not feeling good about another successful day but thinking about all the tasks that are pending and every time I go to bed feeling less than I should for not doing as much as I could have that day.. Every time I’ve let someone else’s judgement of me and whether praise or critic mean more than what I truly feel and every time I’ve looked at another and wished how I was like them.. IVE BEEN UNKIND!

You could then ask me whether being ambitious is wrong or wanting to improve and do more is wrong? It certainly isn’t.. but putting the self down and saying harsh things to the self is wrong.. we take so much pride in being nice to others.. why cant we be nicer to ourselves?

There are so many things that can be fixed and I am sure that there always will be.. There will never be a day when someone says and feels yes that’s it im ready to give it all up.. but when will the day come when we enjoy what we have? I have rarely enjoyed the what I have here and now.. who I am today and this very instant.. being kind to one self is seeing the good and not a checklist of improvements..

We become what we believe in and we belive in what we say and do everyday! Imagine the amount of damage we would have done to ourself with our daily critiques and daily harsh self talks? It is thus time to be kind to yourself.. and be kind everyday!

The mind wanders….

Sometimes life just doesn’t give you what you want.. is it because life is giving you what you need or is it just the way it is?

The answers to these questions are often a reflection of the attitude a person has or chooses to possess. The answer to these questions often decides a happy person from a gloomy one, a satisfied person from a yearning one and a go getter from a laid back one.. If we truly become what we think and believe in then it can be believed that we are living in our heads and for many of us in our hearts… The world I imagine becomes the world I am in.. the people I believe in become the people they are and how the world perceives me is often my own reflection…

If that is truly the case.. then is ignorance bliss? Is blatant and self over confidence the mantra and rose tinted glasses the formula to survival? I often wonder.. we are all finding and living different ways to be happy.. through our jobs, our careers, our families, our dreams and the ambitions.. these are all journeys to the destination called joy.. then why are some paths so smooth while others rocky? Is there really a simple way out of this?

I come to work everyday to a job that doesn’t bring me joy but it gives me a career and a financial freedom.. isn’t that happiness? I have love in my life.. shouldn’t that be enough? the truth is it should.. but we are programmed for more.. are we intrinsically so? I don’t know.. but isn’t it true… the culture of “what next?” is the cause of many a heartache and a downfall..

I found love.. now I want romance… I found a home.. now I want a house.. I found a job now I want  a career.. I found a family but I want  a more loving one… I found friends but now I want ones in the same city that I live in.. is there ever an end? I guess not.. and that is possibly the want versus the need battle we fight and sometimes lose to life…

I do not wish for a care in the world but I do wish a world where there is care because respect above love and kindness over friendship has never ever been wrong! there the need versus the want battle has been won